Can haz marketing salary plz?

In another grand demonstration of how overpaid marketing minds of the world are, UPS has dropped the, “What can Brown do for you?” in favor of something more dull, and ultimately perplexing.

“We (heart) logistics?” Really?  This is how you’re going to appeal to small and medium sized businesses?  Logistics?  Now I have to figure out what the hell you mean just to be able to understand what you’re saying.  I mean, brown, well, even my scattered mind can crawl back to the early days of color recognition, and figure out what you imply with use of your identifying color.  But hey, why not take an existing, and successful branding, smash into bits, and walk away like you’ve somehow propelled your company into the future, right?

From the newly redesigned, and heart-filled website:

What the New Logistics Can Do for You
The new logistics lets you operate with the heft of a big guy, no matter what size you actually are. You can design a product, get a prototype made, and have it land on your desk in just days. Sell products to customers in Bangalore–right out of your basement. Maneuver the intricacies of global trade with minimal effort. Manage your shipments and minimize their environmental impact. And win repeat customers by making it easy to return products or parts.

The new logistics is more than just getting things to the right place at the right time at the right cost. It’s about using the movement of goods as a competitive advantage. It’s a whole new way of thinking. And it’s a powerful force for growing your business.

I just want to ship things.  Can you handle that?  Will you still be brown, or are you incorporating that hideous green color too (that reminds me an awful lot of a Fed Ex logo, without the blue, but there’s still time to change that too!)?

This is another, in a long line, of horrible ad campaigns that make me wonder what Count Chocula would think.

This is true by the way...

Really.  What happened to the idea of quality in marketing?  When did it become acceptable to forgo practicality in the name of cleverness?  When did people in the marketing field, who supposedly acquired an education to create this stuff, jump the shark?  Geico is bad enough.  UPS is now lining themselves up with the next forgettable advertising campaign, and somewhere along the line, some executive will wonder how it went so horribly wrong.

I am not amused.  And neither is the Count.

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