No, this is not a post about Led Zepplin, so please put away all pipes, all bottles, and all frilly blonde wigs that you might be digging through your closet to find. Actually, the truth of the matter is I really don’t have anything to say, which is a bit of a danger, since ME not knowing what I will say usually results in bizarro world type stuff. For the most part, it’s how I write, and how I get about to writing some of the weird stuff that goes into print. Which brings to mind what I am working on now. Since I am without trendy topics, or useful talking points, you get what I know best: ME.
I’ve been working moderately steadily (EEK! Double ‘ly’s) on the follow up to Anointed. At the moment, it is called Flutter, and aside from following the paths of a few of Anointed‘s favorite line-up, it introduces aspects of Heaven, angels with a grudge, God incognito, a virgin conception, a redemption of Biblical proportions, and social networking gone awry. Oh, and, Alvin, Simon, & Theodore, now that I think on it, though, as with all things in MY world, even they are not quite what they seem.
Essentially, there is a portion of the angelic populace (the Malcontents the earlier title represented), that has decided that the experiment known as “humanity” must come to an end. Their weapon of choice: A social networking device they call, “Flutter.” There’s only one problem with the plan: Angels aren’t all that smart, and have never done all that well with the, ‘war’, thing. And, as if their own inadequacies aren’t enough, they also have to deal with the newly christened angel, “Timothy,” and his angel of desire, Natasha, whom as usual, would kind of rather see humans survive.
That’s the short of it, anyway. If all goes according to schedule, you will hopefully be holding it in hand by summer 2010. And since I really don’t want to spoil it further, I will instead offer you a look into the world of Flutter, by way of the first chapter. I have read this twice in public already, and as no one threw rotten shoes, or leathery fruit at ME, then I suppose it wasn’t horrible. Well, it is for Randall Crane, but that’s the story, isn’t it?
Feel free to pass along your thoughts. Enjoy!
The Tweet of Death
Randall Crane did not know that he was about to die. This, in no way, separated him from the rest of humanity, but did make the event rather surprising all the same. He never looked up from his cell phone to see the car, never realized he had been hit, and witnesses later verified that he did not even appear at all aware that he had moved straight into the intersection. He was eighty-six characters into an update on Twitter when he was tossed over the roof of a car driven by a very shocked, and later inefficiently suicidal, lawyer. By no conscious act of his own, but somewhere through the force of the collision, Randall managed to send his partial message, leaving his three-thousand three hundred and sixty-one followers with a cryptic, and modest cliffhanger of a final statement.
#newrev lol@chipperchrist, ez 2 c u there. going 2 c finalized copy, hope it looks goo
When his body hit the pavement, broken and only mostly intact, he was still holding the cell phone. He felt no pain, sensed no discomfort, and was remarkably coherent for a man who had just been crushed and tossed into the air by a few thousand pounds of unrelenting metal and fiberglass. For a moment, he just lay there, listening to the screams, the cries for help, and the occasional blast of a car horn, thoroughly confused. People crowded overtop him, though only briefly, as a good majority of them darted off with their hands cupped over their mouths. A frazzled gentleman in a business suit, thin-framed glasses, and an expression that spoke in volumes of unrelenting pain, screamed and threw a handful of business cards at him. Randall couldn’t understand why he had done this, but he could see that the man was in a great deal of distress, and was insistent on being vocal about it, so he said nothing.
But it’s all a bit odd, isn’t it? Randall thought. Why am I on the ground? He attempted to move, in order to gain a better view of his situation, but found his vision distracted, not by the oddity of his position, but instead by the pure blue clarity of the cloudless sky. He was having a terribly hard time remembering the last time he had looked at the sky, or, when it had last seemed so pristine. For that matter, he was having a hard time remembering when the world looked so…colorful.
Randall spun his head away from the perfect sky and the screaming, blubbering man in the business suit, and looked at a figure looming just behind him. He was extraordinarily pale, dark hair curling neatly across his forehead, black pupils complementing the black robe he wore.
“Are you a vampire?”
The pale man looked at him with raised eyebrows. “Not remotely, no.”
“Oh, well, that’s good,” said Randall. “I don’t care much for vampires.”
“Have you encountered many?”
Randall thought about that. “No. None that I can remember, exactly. I just read a book recently that made me really not like them anymore. Horrible book. Bad dialogue. Shallow characters.”
“I see. Absorbing though that may be to you, I don’t particularly care. It is time for you to go.”
“Time to go where?” Randall attempted to shoo the babbling man and his business cards away, but to no avail. Several people joined in, attempting to do the very same, but the man was rather hysterical and prepared to be a bit loud about it.
“You should get up now,” said the monotone voice above Randall.
Randall frowned. “I was thinking that a few seconds ago, you know, but I haven’t yet figured out why I’m down here to begin with.”
“Does that matter?”
“Seems like it should, I think. Sort of help me to deal with whatever decision I have to make to get myself out of whatever predicament it is that I’ve gotten myself into. Now that I think about it, I’d appreciate any help you could offer.”
“I am not here to help you,” he said. “Not in that context, anyhow.”
“Then why are you talking to me?” asked Randall. “Seems you’re doing nothing more than keeping me from thinking. I’d rather deal with this guy.” Hysterical Business Card Man was now on his knees and crying. Randall was starting to feel a touch unnerved by it all.
“This is all quite fascinating, however irrelevant it may be. You must go. Now.”
“Go? Go where?” The man just stared at him, and feeling a bit odd in his place, and distracted by the babbling man at his side, Randall reluctantly stood. He felt light and unencumbered, and his thoughts were a bit, well, they were a tad minimal, actually. There seemed to be a limited number of them to deal with, which was thoroughly abnormal, and more than a little disconcerting. “Well, how about I ask who you are then? I’ll worry about my problems later.”
The man seemed to consider this for a time. “Do you understand what has happened?” he asked finally.
Randall shrugged. “Beats me. I was just…just,” he paused, trying to remember exactly what it was that he had been doing. “Well, I was just doing something. Talking to someone, I think. Yes, that was it. I was Tweeting about my meeting. Hah! That rhymes! I should tweet that!” Randall looked at his hands for a moment, and then absently patted himself down.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Tweeting. On Twitter. 140 characters or less. Updating my daily ongoings, and the like. Big thing now. Quite a lot of people interested in what I am doing. As well they should be. Hey, have you seen my phone?”
The man offered only a raised eyebrow.
Randall looked on the ground around his feet. “Next thing I know, I’m on the ground with people screaming at me.” Randall motioned to the activity behind him. “Seriously, where’s my phone? I need to tweet this before I forget.”
“You don’t remember anything else?”
“Depends on what you’re trying to get me to remember. I remember that I peed myself in fourth grade when my friend Tim shot a spitball in Suzie Perkins’ ear, if that helps.”
“It does not,” said the man, moving a step closer to grip Randall by the shoulder. He offered something that closely resembled a sigh. “My name is Gavin. I am an angel of death, and—”
“Where’s your scythe, then?” Randall asked, one eye cut to a slit as if trying to peer a line through multiple dimensions.
“Scythe? I don’t carry a scythe.”
“Well, you can’t very well be Death without the scythe.”
Gavin rolled his eyes, and looked around impatiently. “Listen, human, I am not Death, I am an angel of death, I don’t carry a scythe—but for what point it matters, I do have a rather fine sword I carry from time to time—and you are dead.”
Randall laughed. “Dead? I’m not dead. I’m quite fine, in fact. Look at me. Just because I was on the ground there—whoa!” He jumped back from the crumpled and bloodied version of himself. “My arm does not go there! Where’s my leg? Hey, there’s my phone.” Two medics squeezed their way through the crowd, and wasted little time beyond a cursory check for a pulse. Thirty seconds later, his broken body was blanketed in a white sheet.
Gavin increased his grip on Randall. “You must go now.”
“Go? I don’t understand this at all! I’m fine! I’m right here!” he shouted at the medics, who were already prepping the gurney. “Don’t put me on that thing! I’m not dead! And give me my phone back!”
“You are, and you must go.”
Randall slapped Gavin’s hand off his shoulder. “What are you…go where?”
Gavin shrugged. “Where everyone goes, eventually.”
“It’s a possibility. I’m not a Judge. Just an angel of death. Your fate will be theirs to decide.”
Randall scanned the street, and the horrified faces of the people staring at his body as it was lifted onto the gurney. “My fate? Heaven? I can’t go…I can’t be dead! I have a wife, and kids, and a dog—”
“No, you don’t.”
Randall frowned. “Oh. Well, no, I can’t really back that up, but it seemed like the appropriate thing to say. I was kind of hoping it would help my cause.” Actually, now that he reflected on it, he was quite sure he remembered something about a wife—his, or, somebody’s wife, any way—and it seemed quite important, but his memory was a bit foggy. “So, what if I don’t want to go?”
Gavin forced a smile. “You are dead. You can’t change that, whether you want to or not. One way or another, one time or another, you will go. It’s best if you accept that now, and move on. Things can get a bit sticky otherwise.”
“The Judges don’t take too well to spirits who don’t move on. You may walk here for a while, haunt friends or places, or whatever you choose, but they will come for you eventually, as do they for everyone, and let me assure you that it will not help your case any.”
“My case? Judges? This is ridiculous! I have to go to this, this, thing that I have to go to! It’s very important that I—”
“I am fully aware of where you were going. And had you not met your fate, I am sure that you would have accomplished what you set out to accomplish. But that’s irrelevant now. You are dead. That’s it. Your road is at an end. Deal with it and move on.”
“But I don’t want to be dead!”
Gavin offered another sigh. “Well, that should make all the difference, I imagine.”
“So, what do I do?”
“You choose,” said Gavin. “That’s all I can offer. I’m here to help you along. If you choose to stay, you do so understanding that you are trapped here, unless the Judges decide to retrieve you—a process you may find quite unpleasant. If you go, you face your inevitability, and the Judges will decide your fate. Otherwise, you cannot escape two distinct facts: You are dead, and the Judges will have their say.”
For a moment, Randall just looked around, watching the crowd thin, the babbling business card man—who stared at his cell phone as he was consoled, as if it were the cause of his pain—and the doors of the ambulance as they closed on his body, and, apparently, his life. But Randall could still think, or at least he thought he could think, which was thoughtful in and of itself. He was still here, and that could only mean that, to some degree, he was still alive. He couldn’t deny that. He couldn’t be dead. Not now. He still had…still had…something that he was having trouble remembering.
“I’m not dead, and I’m not going,” he said finally.
“Are you sure?”
Randall nodded. “I’m not dead. I refuse to accept that my life is over. I don’t care what you, or these, these judge people say. I have to go to, well, to wherever it is I have to go, if you don’t mind.” That said, Randall drove his hands in the pockets of his jeans and walked off.
Gavin watched as the shimmering form of Randall Crane vanished around a corner. “Stupid humans. So predictable.”